Season Three
by Dragonfly86
Summary: This is the third season. More coming soon
1. The Dan Rydell Show

Episode One: The Dan Rydell Show  
  
Scene One: CSC Studios: Jeremy and Dan are going over that night's episode of Sports Night  
  
Jeremy- Should we cut the broadcast to 45 minutes or let it run at the proper time, because at this point, the NBA game is going to run us over.  
  
Dan- I'm not sure right now. Dana wants the show to run full, but according to Isaac, we've got advertisers to worry about.  
  
Dana enters behind Jeremy  
  
Dana- Screw the advertisers. The head of Procter and Gamble was my ex- lover, so I should let it run full to sock it to him.  
  
Dana leaves.  
  
Dan- Well, you heard the woman. Let's start the show! (Pauses) Where's Casey?  
  
Natalie enters  
  
Natalie- He's on assignment in Montreal  
  
Dan- Montreal? I thought it was Bermuda?  
  
Natalie- It was supposed to be Bermuda, but then again, we have a budget.  
  
Scene Two: Montreal: Casey is at his hotel room watching a hockey game, where a fight is going on.  
  
Casey- It's official. I love Canada.  
  
The doorbell rings. It's room service  
  
Room Service Guy- Room service!  
  
Casey gets up and opens the door.  
  
Casey- Where's the turkey?  
  
Room Service Guy- (In a French Accent) Right here. I have to go. I'm going to miss "Anne Murray Live in Vancouver".  
  
Casey- What's up with you guys and Anne Murray?  
  
Room Service Guy- It's the only thing that the Bloc Quebecois doesn't hate.  
  
Casey- Bye.  
  
Room Service Guy leaves. Casey closes the door, turns off the TV, and goes to bed in a tuxedo.  
  
Scene Three: Isaac's Office: Isaac and Dan are talking about his nerves hosting solo  
  
Dan- I'm really nervous about this. I'm always used to Casey being next to me for everything.  
  
Isaac- Even sex?  
  
Dan- Not that way! Natalie and Dana and Jeremy have really been good to me these past few days. If it weren't for the fact that the show's been pre- empted due to that telethon over the weekend, I would be in Montreal, pulling Casey from his pretty boy hairs and dragging him here just in time for airdate.  
  
Isaac- That's quite the description, sir. If I were you, I would do one thing and one thing only.  
  
Dan- What's that?  
  
Isaac- I would be one with the camera and really focus yourself to that little glass screen. That little glass screen you're staring at is looking at six million viewers expecting you to be at your best tonight and every night at eleven, barring telethons and overruns. Now go over there, and show them what you've got.  
  
Scene Five: Monreal: Casey is going to interview Sanique, a one-named French-Canadian ice skating wonder who is a favorite to win gold at the Winter Olympics  
  
Casey- How's training going?  
  
Sanique- (In a French accent) I haven't been training. I've been protesting the Bloc Quebecois and watching reruns of "Degrassi High".  
  
Casey- Why have you been protesting a conservative French party instead of training for what could be the most important experience of your career?  
  
Sanique- Because it is the right thing to do.  
  
Casey- Is it true that you are having an affair with your married trainer, who is 30 years your senior?  
  
Sanique- (Disgusted) No! He is greasy and has back hair and wears a really bad toupee. I would rather date Jean Chretien!  
  
Casey- (Sarcastically) Well, that sets the record straight!  
  
Sanique begins to curse in French before slapping him.  
  
Scene Six: CSC Studios: Sportsnight is about to begin  
  
Dan- Hello, I'm Dan Rydell. Casey McCall is on assignment tonight. In not much of a surprise, one of the US's favorites in water polo has been suspected of doping. Natalie Herman is currently on leave from the team as the IOC is investigating the matter. This just in; we have word that the four-hour match between the Yankees and the Dodgers as gone into its thirteenth inning. If this is any precaution, this could be longer than watching "Ben-Hur" fourteen times.  
  
END 


	2. Going South

Episode Two: Going South  
  
Scene One: CSC Studios: Dan and Casey are discussing Casey's trip to Montreal  
  
Dan- How was Canada?  
  
Casey- A little bit of the good and a little bit of the bad.  
  
Dan- What was the good?  
  
Casey- Hockey fights, semi-nudity on television, and great food.  
  
Dan- The bad things?  
  
Casey- Anne Murray, one named ice skating virtuosos, the Bloc Quebecois, and room service.  
  
Dan- Wouldn't great food and room service be connected?  
  
Casey- Well, they did offer endless "SCTV" tapes.  
  
Scene Two: Isaac's office: Dana and Isaac talk about expansion.  
  
Isaac- I just talked to the people at Starlight Cable. They've offered us a spot on there sports package and I've accepted.  
  
Dana- Are you sure you want to do this?  
  
Isaac- Yes, yes I do.  
  
Dana- How far do we reach now?  
  
Isaac- All of the US, northern Mexico, and British Columbia.  
  
Dana- The only people who will understand and sit through this IS British Columbia, so I understand why you expanded to there.  
  
Isaac- I'm taking Dan and Casey to Texas next week for promotion.  
  
Dana- What? We have three big shows next week.  
  
Isaac- We could get Natalie and Jeremy to do the shows.  
  
Dana- Natalie and Jeremy?! They have as much experience as rabbits on crack!  
  
Isaac- I'll have them do the tiny one-minute updates today.  
  
Dana- Ok, but if they blow, I'll get the people at WKJF and ask for their guys.  
  
Isaac- Deal.  
  
Scene Three: CSC Studios: Natalie and Jeremy are doing the one-minute newscast  
  
Natalie- This is Natalie Hurley, and next to me is Jeremy Goodwin. Los Angeles Superstars point guard LaTavius Henderson was arrested after protesting his mother's conviction for attempted homicide.  
  
Jeremy- Police set bail at $25,000, which was paid out by coach Gerry Howard. Henderson published a statement saying, "The reason why I was arrested is possibly the most ridiculous thing the police could have ever done. I am innocent." More news at 30 to the hour.  
  
Director- And cut!  
  
Dana enters, shocked.  
  
Dana- This is fabulous! Where has this talent been hidden in?  
  
Natalie- My uterus.  
  
Scene Four: Texas: Dan and Casey are at a chili cookout, promoting CSC  
  
Cowboy Tim- I'd like to welcome y'all to our special event. Our guests are Casey McCall and Dan Rydell, on-air personalities of CSC, our new channel on Starlight Cable channel 297.  
  
The crowd applauds.  
  
Casey- Thanks for the invitation. This chili is very good, the best chili in the whole wide world.  
  
Dan- It really is. The housewives' time and effort is obviously showing in this culinary work of art that is unbeatable.  
  
Casey- Enough with the chili. I'd like to talk to you about the programming on CSC. Our program, "Sportsnight", is the highest rated sports program in the northeast. And we have the rights to all the hockey, basketball, and polo you want.  
  
Dan- Watch CSC. You won't regret it!  
  
The crowd mildly applauds  
  
Scene Five: CSC Studios: Natalie and Jeremy ready "Sportsnight"  
  
Natalie- This is not Casey McCall.  
  
Jeremy- And this could be Dan Rydell. As you just saw here on CSC, the Los Angeles Superstars overcame the loss of LaTavius Henderson to a court hearing to beat the Minneapolis Blizzard 98-95.  
  
Scene Six: Texas: Casey and Dan are watching the show  
  
Casey- This could be better than I thought.  
  
Dan- It may be, it may be not. Speaking of better than I thought, I didn't know Jeremy could perform that good.  
  
Casey- Neither did I, neither did I. 


	3. Tell Him About It

Episode Three: Tell Him About It  
  
Scene One: CSC Studios: Casey and Dan are doing the show  
  
Casey- In some shocking news, Manhattan Towers linebacker Harlan Lerner was arrested late last night, charged with suspicion of drunk driving.  
  
Dan- Witnesses say that he was beligerent and very violent when apprehended. A video camera was there during the event and the tape will be made public at a press conference tomorrow, which we will bring live. We will be back after this commercial.  
  
The two start talking  
  
Dan- I can't wait to see the tape. A part of me wants to see superstars become embarrassed at the sight of a camera.  
  
Casey- I'm not so sure that would be a good thing to anticipate someone getting abusive AND piss-faced drunk.  
  
Dana enters  
  
Dana- Isn't that the entire point in this business? People getting drunk and beligerent.  
  
Casey- I would say yes, but voyeurism is the most intrusive medium.  
  
Scene Two: Isaac's Office: Isaac and Jeremy are watching a movie  
  
Jeremy- This is possibly an office worker's dream come true. Watching "Field of Dreams" with your boss, one of the richest men in cable television. Just one question, why do we spend so little on program budgets? "Sportsnight" is recorded on laserdisc, for pete's sake!  
  
Isaac- Just shut up and watch the movie, or you'll regret watching "Field of Dreams" with your boss.  
  
Jeremy becomes scared  
  
Jeremy- Ok.  
  
Jeremy starts to cry when the big part comes  
  
Isaac- Stop crying, you four-eyed baby!  
  
Jeremy still chokes up  
  
Jeremy- This is just so emotional and great.  
  
Scene Three: Natalie's apartment: Natalie is watching the big press conference at home due to her cold  
  
Natalie- This is so sad. People being busted, punk'd, or whatever they call it now.  
  
Natalie starts to cough  
  
Scene Four: Cherishment Hotel Ballroom: Press conference is occuring  
  
Spokeswoman- May you all turn off your cellphones while the tape is playing. Thank you.  
  
The tape is playing. It shows Harlan vomiting on the police officer, beating up his copassenger, and tripping while walking the straight line. The reporters at the hotel begin to gasp and watch in complete utter amazement. The tape ends.  
  
Spokeswoman- I will now open the cameraman, Marlon, for questions.  
  
Loud questions and flashes are heard.  
  
Reporter #1- How did you come across this sight?  
  
Marlon- I was driving home from my sister's wedding and I heard cursing and yelling, and then I looked and I could recognize the crew cut, and there was Harlan.  
  
Reporter #2- Are you looking for profit?  
  
Marlon- No, no I don't. I just want to inform people with the facts, not some questionable hearsay. It says that in the First Amendment.  
  
Spokeswoman- That is enough questions for the day.  
  
Scene Five: CSC Studios: Casey and Dan finish the live show  
  
Dan- That tape was possibly the juiciest tape I've seen.  
  
Casey- I'd have to disagree. We aren't supposed to laugh at other people's expenses.  
  
Dan- Then why is 'America's Funniest Home Videos' still on the air?  
  
Casey- I have absolutely no idea except for the fact that we are all stoned.  
  
END 


	4. Love Is In The Fire

Episode Four: Love Is In The Fire  
  
Scene One: Isaac's Office: Isaac, Dana, Casey, and Dan are talking about a potential timeslot change  
  
Isaac- Over the past few days, I've been thinking about changing the timeslot.  
  
Dana- To what time?  
  
Isaac- What time do you ask for?  
  
Casey- Ten.  
  
Dan- Midnight.  
  
Dana- Eleven Thirty-Five.  
  
Isaac- You all are wrong. Sportsnight will be moving to seven.  
  
Casey, Dan, and Dana are shocked.  
  
Dana- Seven?! Have you even checked my schedule? I'm more busy between six and nine than anyone in this place, even you! How am I supposed to live like this?  
  
Casey- You could push them all to an earlier time.  
  
Dana- I can't just do that. Do you even ponder that the people that I know are rich, successful people who can't be moved to an earlier time, let alone before seven!  
  
Isaac- Relax, Dana. You're all bent out of shape for absolutely no reason. It's going to be like when we introduced the one-minute updates.  
  
Dana- Well, that was quite easier than I thought. I could be okay with this.  
  
Isaac- Thanks for your listening and patience. Now will you please start writing?  
  
Casey- I've already got the top story ready.  
  
Scene Two: Jeremy's cubicle: Jeremy is told by Natalie the news  
  
Jeremy- So you're seriously telling me that the show is being made four hours earlier?  
  
Natalie- Straight from big daddy.  
  
Jeremy- Does he have any idea how busy my schedule is? I've never been late for grocery shopping, except for night exams and the time I had a fever. I can't just push that away for television.  
  
Natalie- Food can wait, hypo. It might grow on trees, but it doesn't spoil in minutes. Maybe some foods, but not most of them.  
  
Jeremy- Well, you're right about that. Should I start research on the top story?  
  
Natalie- Casey's got it done already.  
  
Jeremy- (Stunned) Casey? Casey? That guy can't write a straight-faced story if Isaac AND Dana put guns to his head.  
  
Natalie- Don't be so mad. The bump up's been driving everyone crazy. I just caught Dan praying for a windstorm.  
  
Jeremy- Why a windstorm? Couldn't there be a thunderstorm or a tornado?  
  
Natalie- That's beyond me.  
  
Scene Three: Bathroom: Dan is sitting on the toilet, praying  
  
Dan- Please God, take away all my insecurities about this whole thing. Obviously, praying for natural disasters never work, and when they do, they're way above expectations. (giggles) Hopefully, this will be the best thing that could ever happen.  
  
Scene Four: CSC Studios: Casey and Dan are doing the show  
  
Casey- In possibly the riskiest trade in the NBA, the Anaheim Arrows have traded the NBA Finals MVP Samuel Underwood to the Manhattan Towers for pointguards Terell Germann, Quentin Santiago, a second-round draft pick, and cash, reportedly totaling a half million dollars.  
  
Dan- Our NBA analyst says that the trade might change the NBA as we know it.  
  
Scene Four: Casey's house: Casey watches a repeat of that night's show  
  
Casey- My God am I good!  
  
Casey gets his lo mein and starts eating it  
  
Casey- I cannot possibly believe they kept that! I told Dana to cut it out.  
  
END 


	5. Pay It Backward

Episode Five: Pay It Backward  
  
Scene Once: Los Angeles: Casey and Dan are at a sportscasters convention, where they meet with Gina, one of Casey's old college girlfriends who is now a sportscaster  
  
Casey- Gina!  
  
Gina- Casey!  
  
They embrace. Dan looks at them, jealous because of Gina's beauty.  
  
Gina- How's CSC? I heard about the expansion.  
  
Casey- It's going great. The only problem now is that the show's been pushed to seven. How's A2?  
  
Gina- A2's doing terrible. Can you believe they made me wear a tanktop during an interview with the Vice-President, for pete's sake?  
  
Dan- I saw it. To be honest, I was aroused.  
  
Gina slaps him  
  
Gina- (To Casey) Your friend's a perv!  
  
Casey- I can't resist seeing it either. Usually I'm the perv.  
  
Gina- I know! Anyway, I've gotta go. I'm talking to my new boyfriend. He's a weatherguy in Seattle.  
  
Casey- Why does Seattle need a weatherguy when it's rainy all the time?  
  
Gina- Money, I guess?  
  
Dan- We have to go. We have to sell the show to Ontario.  
  
Gina- Bye.  
  
Scene Two: CSC Studios: Jeremy enters an empty office  
  
Jeremy- Hello? Hello? Is anyone here?  
  
Jeremy walks to Isaac's office to see that Dana was sleeping on the carpet. Jeremy yells in her ear.  
  
Jeremy- Danaaaaaaa!  
  
Dana wakes up angry and kicks Jeremy in his privates.  
  
Dana- Why are you here?  
  
Jeremy- Why are you here?  
  
Dana- My apartment's being quarantined.  
  
Jeremy- You live in that place where the cat has rabies?  
  
Dana- Yes.  
  
Jeremy- You should have told me. I have an empty bedroom you could use.  
  
Dana- I would say yes, but I'm classy.  
  
Jeremy- So am I. It has a carpet, a mini-fridge, and a TV.  
  
Dana- Okay.  
  
Scene Three: Los Angeles: Casey and Dan are talking to the Canadian buyers, Orson and Terry  
  
Casey- How are you two doing?  
  
Orson- Great. This is exactly the same courtesy that made us buy "All My Children". We're still waiting for our money back.  
  
Dan- It must've been a bad experience.  
  
Terry- Bad experience?! It was utterly terrible. What we wanted was intrigue and suspense, and what we got was terminal illness and family values. We don't like family values in Ontario.  
  
Casey- I'm sure that's every soap opera.  
  
Terry- We didn't know that until the second year. Where's Isaac?  
  
Dan- He couldn't come. He's on business.  
  
Scene Four: Bermuda: Isaac is on a chair, being massaged by several beautiful women  
  
Isaac- Now that's what I call a big budget!  
  
Scene Five: Jeremy's Apartment: Jeremy is cooking Dana breakfast  
  
Jeremy- Do you want your eggs scrambled or sunny side up?  
  
Dana- Scrambled, please?  
  
Jeremy- Your command is my work.  
  
Dana- Thanks. I've never had a man whom I wasn't in a committive relationship with be this generous outside of my family.  
  
Jeremy- You're welcome. Wanna go to the movies with me?  
  
Dana- Of course I would love to. Why wouldn't I?  
  
Jeremy- There was that one time at....  
  
Dana- Don't mention that. I was a greedy idiot.  
  
Jeremy smiles  
  
Scene Six: Los Angeles: Orson, Terry, Casey, and Dan are talking about Canada  
  
Terry- The politics here are great. Everyone's open with each other, what you call a sin we call children's programming, and soap operas are smarter. Much, much, much smarter.  
  
Dan- Well that's pretty interesting. Isn't it, Casey?  
  
Casey- I beg to differ. When I was in Montreal, I was slapped by Sanique.  
  
Orson- Who hasn't been slapped by Sanique? I've been slapped by her, the head of the IOC's been slapped by her, even TV stars have been slapped by her.  
  
Dan- Yikes! You're on the hit list!  
  
Terry- That's actually a good thing. The last person whom she slapped got paid $23 million to do a movie about it for TV.  
  
Casey- $23 million for a TV movie?! I should move to Canada.  
  
Scene Seven: Movie Theater: Jeremy and Dana are watching a romantic movie  
  
Jeremy- Isn't this beautiful?  
  
Dana- Yes. This is possibly the greatest movie ever. But why does he have to die at the end? Isn't it usually the woman?  
  
Jeremy- I love you.  
  
Jeremy kisses Dana. Dana slaps him.  
  
Dana- Shouldn't you be kissing Natalie?  
  
Jeremy- She's on business.  
  
Scene Eight: Bermuda: Natalie is recieving a massage from a series of handsome men  
  
Natalie- Now that's what I call a big budget!  
  
END 


End file.
